


Everything is Nothing with a Twist

by BeautifulUnseen



Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, college!klaine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:41:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 18,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25099327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeautifulUnseen/pseuds/BeautifulUnseen
Summary: The cuff on Kurt's wrist covers up a tiny number he was born with — just like everyone else he knows — a number that tells at what age he will die. Because of his number, Kurt keeps his heart locked away. But then Blaine enters his life. Does he hold the key to that lock?
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel
Comments: 63
Kudos: 131
Collections: Glee Potluck Big Bang 2020





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my Glee Potluck Big Bang 2020 story! 
> 
> I need to thank my amazing beta, @darrenismydarcy for helping polish this fic, and being the ultimate sweetheart. Any mistakes you see are changes I made after she had her hands on it! Extra credit: she found the title of the story, which is a Kurt Vonnegut quote. 
> 
> The gorgeous artwork was created by @justgleekout and I am just in awe of her talent and how beautifully it turned out. 
> 
> Please give them both all the love.

"Over here, Kurt!" called Rachel, waving to her friend from across the quiet coffee shop.

Kurt shook the chilly afternoon rain off his umbrella and followed the sound of his roommate's voice. He approached their usual table, but came to a screeching halt when he noticed she was not sitting alone.

"No. No way. I have told you thousands of times, Rachel. I do _not_ want to date."

The gingery blonde man at the table with Rachel held out a cookie as a peace offering.

"Sorry, I wouldn't have come if I'd known you weren't a willing participant. Cookie?"

Kurt narrowed his eyes, but approached anyway.

"Yes, well, that is my favorite flavor and I'm ravenous, so it's your lucky day." He sat down across from the man and swiped the cookie from his hand.

"I'm going to sit there," Rachel motioned to a seat a few tables away before getting up. "You two enjoy getting to know each other."

Kurt despised when Rachel did things like that, completely disregarding his repeated requests for her not to set him up, but unfortunately it was a frequent occurrence.

"Hi Kurt. I'm Harris," Rachel's friend said, drawing Kurt's attention back to him.

"Nice to meet you. How do you know Rachel?"

"We were lab partners for our Chem 101 class. When she asked if I was single, I thought her gaydar must be seriously malfunctioning, but then she showed me your picture and I agreed straight away."

"That's...cute."

Harris took that as encouragement, even though Kurt wasn't sure he'd meant it as such. "So tell me, Kurt. What's your number?"

Kurt nearly knocked his chair backward jumping to his feet, his right hand clutching the cuff on his left wrist too tightly. "Absolutely not. Rachel!" he called. "Come collect your trash. And I'm not talking about the granola cup you left on the table."

Harris shrugged, seemingly unoffended. "I don't see the use in the pretense. I want a long life with my partner. It's a make or break for me."

"Well I won't be divulging that information to you ever, let alone in the first two minutes we've known each other. Goodbye, Harris." He glared at Rachel. "And I'll see you at home later."

He stormed to the back of the short line in the shop because he hadn't come all that way not to get coffee. An extra shot of espresso was on the menu, he decided, for putting up with such massive amounts of bullshit.

"Kurt!" the barista called out a few minutes later.

Kurt smiled despite himself upon seeing the cute barista he'd grown accustomed to chatting with across the counter. If anyone asked, Kurt swore he definitely did not plan his coffee breaks around when he knew Blaine would be working. And if he did, who could blame him? Even though he may not want to date, he could indulge in enjoying the view.

"Thanks, Blaine." Kurt took the cup gladly, eyes lingering on Blaine's gorgeously designed leather wrist cuff and the toned forearm peeking out between the cuff and his rolled up sleeve. "How are things going today?"

"Better for me than you, I suppose. I wasn't trying to eavesdrop—"

"Yes you were," Kurt laughed.

"Okay, you're right. I was deliberately wiping down tables that were already clean just so I could overhear your conversation. Super shitty of that guy to ask what your number is right off the bat."

"You'd be surprised how many single gay guys do that."

Blaine laughed humorlessly. "I wouldn't be surprised, actually, because I myself have been on dates with all of NYC's worst."

"Ugh. I'm sorry. It's like, aren't there any good guys out there?"

"Just you and I, it seems."

"You know what that means, right?" Kurt asked, propping both elbows on the counter between them.

Blaine's eyes lit with hope that was quickly replaced with a joking twinkle. "I do. Kurt and Blaine's Lonely Hearts Club."

Kurt's heart sank against his will for a moment before he joined in Blaine's laughter.

"Well, I better get home and spite-shrink all of Rachel's sweaters. Thanks for momentarily taking my mind off of the collective idiocy of everyone I come into contact with."

When Kurt walked out the coffee shop doors, though, he found that his interaction with Blaine had caused his spite to all but vanish.

* * *

Kurt loved Rachel Berry with all his heart, but he felt the urge to kill her more often than most people probably wanted to murder their best friends. She was very outspoken about the number on her wrist, and didn't understand why anyone could possibly want to keep theirs a secret. After six years of friendship, she had finally given up on pestering Kurt to share his every single day. Rachel was one of the rare people who didn't wear a cuff to cover her number, and didn't mind who saw it. She was very confident in the number predicting her fate, but Kurt knew all too well how those little digits could change at the drop of a hat. It didn't do any good reminding Rachel of that, though. Kurt figured she was too pigheaded to die before her 86 years anyway.

Rachel radiated the confidence of someone with a high number, and was constantly surrounded by suitors, because it was quite a great selling point. Nobody wanted a partner whose death lurked just around the corner.

Kurt walked back into the coffee shop a few days after his encounter with Harris to find Rachel at their table with two baristas chatting her up.

Blaine was working the register that day, thankfully, because Kurt needed to see his always smiling face to help him temporarily forget his distaste for the dating scene.

"Good evening. What can I get for you?"

"Give up the charade. I know you know my order."

Blaine cracked his straight face with a goofy grin. "Morning _and_ evening orders." He turned to his coworker. "Medium decaf cappuccino!"

Kurt pulled out his wallet. "I wasn't sure if you'd be working tonight."

Blaine leaned forward across the counter, his expression serious. "Give up the charade. I know you've had my work schedule memorized since my third week."

"I really wish I knew your last name right now, because if I did, I would gasp and say your full name in a horrified manner."

Blaine shrugged. "Don't hate me because I speak the truth."

"It's not my fault I prefer my order to be correct the first time I give it, and you're the only one who can do that." He tipped Blaine directly. "Time to break up the Rachel Berry show over there. Enjoy the rest of your shift."

Blaine waved his goodbye as Kurt crossed over to where Rachel sat.

"She's in love with someone else," he told the two guys fawning over her without really looking at them. They vacated the area quickly with disappointed huffs and Kurt spread out his laptop and notebook to start studying.

"That was rude and entirely untrue," Rachel commented.

"I'm sick of you flaunting your love life for all to see."

Rachel smiled sympathetically at the hurt underlying the bitterness in Kurt's voice. "You know you could have it too, if you wanted to."

"I can't."

"Bullshit. In fact, there's a certain someone in this very shop who would gladly help you out with that."

Kurt followed her line of sight to Blaine, who was quietly singing and dancing along with the music playing in the shop. When he saw them looking, he exaggerated his movements, making such a fool out of himself that they both burst into laughter.

"He's kind of perfect for you."

Kurt's smile disappeared. "Yeah, well I'm not perfect for him. End of discussion." He slipped his headphones on, careful not to flatten his hair, and tuned her out, earning himself a glare.

Rachel eventually gave up on glaring at him and nearly an hour later, they noticed Blaine standing near the door, angrily tapping away on his phone.

"Barista Blaine!" Rachel called. "What's wrong?"

He walked closer to them. "My Uber canceled."

"You take an Uber home from work? Where do you live?"

"Not too far, actually. Just over by Bookbug, if you know it."

"Oh! We live just a block from there!"

"Yeah, so it's silly, but something happened to me a few years ago and I'm not comfortable walking or taking public transportation by myself after dark." Blaine fidgeted, seemingly embarrassed.

"That's not silly at all!" Rachel told him. "Kurt has tons of little quirks from all the trauma in his past."

Kurt stared at her dryly. "Thank you for that, Rachel." Then he turned to Blaine. "If you hang around with us for about another hour, we can head back with you and then you wouldn't have to waste your money on another Uber."

"Really? That'd be great. Thanks, guys." Blaine smiled and pulled a book out of his bag to start reading as he joined them at their table.

"Public Relations?" Kurt asked, nudging the cover of Blaine's book.

"I severely overestimated many things about myself and double majored in PR and music."

Rachel opened her mouth to speak, but Kurt covered it before she could get a sound out.

"Do not feel obligated to humor her. Seriously," he said to Blaine before removing his hand from Rachel's mouth. "Okay Rach. Speak."

"You can be my publicist when I'm a famous Broadway star! We'd be an unstoppable team!"

Blaine held his tongue and silently asked Kurt to throw him a lifeline, his beautiful eyes searching Kurt's and pleading for a reprieve, if necessary.

"She's a little overzealous, but she's amazing. If anyone can make it on Broadway, it's Rachel," Kurt assured Blaine.

Rachel kissed Kurt's cheek, beaming.

"Then yes," Blaine told her, relief evident in his voice. "When you make it, count me in."

Blaine caught Kurt smiling dreamily at him and they both blushed and looked away, Rachel feeling quite smug.

* * *

Later that night after Kurt and Rachel had left Blaine at his apartment building, she looped her arm through his and leaned her head on his shoulder.

"He's really great, don't you think?" Rachel asked.

"I know what you're trying to do. But I'll indulge you just this once in case it'll stop you from setting me up with your friends. Yes, Blaine is great."

"And if you were interested in dating?" Rachel was jittery with excitement.

"If I was interested in dating, I'd ask him out."

"I knew it! You have a crush on Barista Blaine!"

Kurt fought the urge to roll his eyes since he knew her excitement came from a place of caring. "It doesn't matter. You know it doesn't mean anything."

"Only because you make it that way."

"It's how it has to be. Let's just enjoy our cute new friend, agreed?"

"Agreed."

But Rachel was much more of an optimist than Kurt was, possibly to a fault. Which was why she invited Blaine to study with them after his shift every Tuesday and Thursday evening when he worked late.

Blaine was an eternal optimist too, which was why he accepted.


	2. Chapter 2

Tuesdays and Thursdays were Kurt's favorite days of the week. He didn't have classes, and spent most of the day interning at Vogue and the evenings having dinner and studying with Rachel. His preference for those days had absolutely nothing to do with how they'd recently added Blaine to the mix, and definitely not anything to do with how funny and kind and charming Blaine was.

Kurt and Rachel learned more about Blaine by the week, and found that he was impossible not to love. He was the nurturing type, he kept them laughing, and he was endlessly interesting. He fit effortlessly in with them, but Kurt assumed he would fit in with anyone. Blaine was the kind of person who could carry on a conversation with a brick wall.

One evening a few weeks after their first study session, a stranger plopped himself down at their table and stared at Kurt.

"Can I help you?" Kurt asked, staring back at the man with irritation.

"Ignore him," Blaine said, not even looking up from his homework.

Kurt shrugged and went back to his sketch, but the other guy kept watching him, his leg growing increasingly bouncy under their small table.

Finally, Blaine addressed him. "Usually if I ignore you, you go away, but you're being particularly persistent today. Go home, Wesley."

"But Blaine," he whined, drawing out Blaine's name. "Come on. Please?"

Blaine sighed heavily. "Fine. Guys, this is Wes, my roommate. And these are—"

"Rachel and Kurt," Wes said as if it was obvious. "Kurt E Hummel. There's debate on what the E stands for, but it's most likely after your late mother, Elizabeth. You're a senior who interns with Ms. Isabelle Wright in the Vogue offices, and a committed coffee drinker. You're from Lima, Ohio, which, coincidentally, is very near to where Blaine and I grew up." He turned to Blaine. "Yep. I like him."

Before Kurt could pull himself together enough to form the question, Blaine stepped in. "Yeah, he does this. I swear he's harmless. The worst thing he'll do with the information is hold it over you forever if he happens upon something juicy enough."

"Ooh! Do me, Wes!" Rachel clapped her hands in anticipation.

"Rachel Barbra Berry. You're a senior who hopes to launch her Broadway career right out of school. You're also from Lima, you were the lead of your high school show choir, and you have a YouTube channel, which, like you, has had a serious glow up."

She slid her arm across the table, the sleeve of her shirt riding up slightly to show part of her number.

"Eighty-six. I'm free tonight if you are."

Wes patted her lightly on the hand. "Taken. Sorry. I'm irresistible to the fairer sex."

Rachel nodded solemnly. "Well she is one lucky lady."

Kurt watched the entire exchange with his jaw hinged open.

"I regret ever telling you about my new friends," Blaine lamented to Wes.

"No! Don't." Kurt was tilting his head, watching Wes like a rare bird. "He's fascinating."

Blaine threw up his hands in defeat. "Of course they love him!" He folded his arms and sat back in his chair, watching his best friend and his new friends charm each other.

* * *

A week later, their trio was now frequently a quartet. The four of them had finally managed to all be quiet and studied in silence when a fifth member crashed their party.

"Oh, hello, David, I had no idea I'd be seeing you here," Wes greeted him with a sly grin.

David, Wes and Blaine's other best friend, sat extra close to Wes, and they stared at Kurt together.

"See?" Wes whispered, clearly heard by everyone at the table. "I told you."

"You were right," David whispered back. "He is."

They turned to look at Blaine at the same time.

"I know that look, guys, and you can put it away. Kurt isn't interested in dating, and I'm happily single at the moment."

"Blaine. You've never been happily single in your life. You're a serial relationship-ist and we all know it." Wes looked around at the people at the table, and at Blaine fidgeting uncomfortably. "Well, we all know it now."

"There's a first time for everything?" Kurt offered.

Blaine threw Kurt a thankful glance. "Exactly. I'm happy focusing on my last two semesters of school and the job search."

"Okay," Wes and David said together, sharing another look.

Blaine punched both of them on their arms. "Go away and get your own friends."

"Nope. We like these ones," Wes said, putting an arm around both Rachel and Kurt. "Hey David, did you know Rachel is single and has a great number?"

"It's true. Eighty-six. Tell me about yourself," Rachel said with a coy giggle.

Kurt shot Blaine an eye roll and they wordlessly moved their books to a different table, leaving the flirtatious two, and Wes, to be giggling weirdos on their own.

"We're fairly normal, aren't we?" Kurt asked and Blaine nodded.

"I thought so, but how did we become friends with the strangest people on the planet?"

"And you didn't even get to meet our ex-roommate Santana. She's something else entirely."

"I can't imagine. Does Rachel really go around telling everyone her number? I mean, it's something to be proud of, but still…" Blaine's fingers found his own cuff and traced along the edge while he talked.

"Everyone. But she'd still be doing it if her number was twenty-six. She finds a way to make everything dramatic."

"It seems like you don't approve of her openness about it. Do very many people know your number?"

"Just my dad and my therapist," Kurt said through tight lips. He longed for the conversation to be over. He hated talking numbers.

"That's impressive. My parents and my brother know mine. Plus Wes and David. And an ex-boyfriend whom I thought I loved, but clearly that was very misguided."

"I just don't see the necessity in sharing it. I don't plan to tell anyone else in my life either."

"Ever? Even your husband?"

An icy sensation clutched at Kurt's heart. "I'm not planning to have a husband."

"Oh." Blaine cast his gaze downward, clearly thrown off and maybe even a little disappointed.

"I'm sorry. I can see that you're a romantic," Kurt said, trying to lighten his tone. "Don't let me crush your spirit."

"Don't worry about that. I'm eternally positive when it comes to love."

"It's nice to know there are people like you in the world, Blaine."

"That feels a little condescending, but I'm going to choose to take it as a compliment."

Kurt laughed. "It's genuine. I'm a very honest person. I don't say things I don't mean."

"It's nice to know there are people like you in the world, Kurt."

Kurt playfully kicked him under the table.

"I'm changing my mind about being friends with you."

"No you're not. It's the best decision you ever made."

* * *

"Yes, Carole, I promise I'll show up. But you know I don't do these things normally…I know. I know. Love you, too. Tell Dad I said hi."

Kurt hung up the phone and groaned, softly hitting his head repeatedly against the cold stainless steel of the kitchen table.

"Carole signed me up for speed dating," he told Rachel, still face down.

"You're going to go?"

"Unfortunately."

"Color me shocked! Kurt Hummel, attending an event focused on making love connections? Why would you ever say yes to that?"

"It was Carole asking. You know how I am when it comes to my parents. I'm weak."

"I don't see it as a weakness. You'd do anything to make them happy."

He lifted his head to peek at her. "You make me sound so _good_."

"You are good. And because you're good, you'll go speed dating, talk to some cute guys, and put aside your bitter jadedness and fear for the night."

Kurt shivered. "It's creepy how easily you see me."

"Anyone would see you in that outfit. You look fantastic. Go break everyone's heart in five minutes or less."

"Love you, Rach." Kurt kissed her cheek and headed out the door, slightly more convinced that he was doing the right thing.

Once inside the venue, Kurt's stress level crept up. He didn't want to charm a bunch of guys he'd only turn down, and he didn't want to be an asshole for the sake of ensuring he didn't match with anyone. Oh well. He'd just be himself and if he charmed someone, well, who ever made such a lasting impression on someone's life in five minutes?

He picked up his scorecard with ten spots on it — five minutes with ten different guys...he could handle an hour of this — and headed toward the first empty table he saw.

Soon the organizer was announcing they were beginning, and the first date sat across from Kurt. He was attractive in a rough-around-the-edges kind of way, but dressed like he'd never heard of matching before.

"Hi. I'm Liam."

"Kurt. Nice to meet you."

"You too. Where are you from?"

"Ohio, but New York is home now. You?"

"Virginia, but I don't have one particular place I call home."

_Oh, here we go,_ Kurt thought.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm a huge fan of the band The Hot Heads. I follow them around the country when they tour. I call myself a nomad. Have you heard their music? They have that song 'Will You Hold Me?'" Liam proceeded to badly wail out the lyrics to an unrecognizable tune for the rest of their time together. Kurt couldn't shoo him away quickly enough when the bell rang for them to switch partners.

It soon became clear to Kurt that things wouldn't improve much. Even if he had been looking for a match, he would have been out of luck. The boys across from him were an array of incompatibility. Seriously devout. Extreme hippie. Closeted with a wife. Impossibly ignorant. The hour seemed to drag on. Until his tenth partner.

The familiar figure stepped up across from Kurt looking devastatingly handsome. Usually in his work uniform when they were together, he surprised Kurt with his style — a cross between classic nerd and preppy boater, a combination that shouldn't have worked, but Kurt really appreciated.

"Blaine? What are you doing here?"

"I could ask the same of you, Mr. I Don't Date." Blaine adjusted his bow tie in a way that almost seemed nervous. But that couldn't have been it, because Blaine was the most confident person Kurt knew.

"My stepmom signed me up, and apparently I don't have the heart to refuse her, because according to Rachel, I'm a 'good person.' You didn't answer my question."

"Serial relationship-ist, remember? I signed up for this a while back when I was having trouble meeting people naturally. And I don't trust Wes to set me up for one second. Not anymore."

"I cannot blame you for that. Have you met anyone good this evening?"

"Up until now, everyone's been all right. Nobody has made my heart go all…" he fluttered his hands by his shoulders like wings and whistled.

Kurt couldn't hide his laughter. "I should have known you see the world in cartoon. So nobody good yet...how about now?" He didn't know why he asked. Maybe he just wanted to hear that Blaine was interested in him, even if he couldn't act on that interest.

Blaine appraised Kurt, and though his body language screamed _YES!_ he joked, "too soon to tell."

"Ha. Have you done speed dating before?"

"No. This is kind of embarrassing, but I've met most of my dates in the last 2 years on dating apps. Again, after I stopped trusting Wes to set me up."

"Oh man, I'd kill to see footage of some of those dates."

"Let's just say Wes is a horrible judge of character. I realize that he has chosen me as his best friend, so that might say something about me, but it's true. Pretty sure one of the guys he set me up with ended up on the news wanted for murder."

"What was he like?"

"Surprisingly likeable. But he did some weird stuff like bring his taxidermied pet squirrel in public with him—"

"Which is why Wes liked him," they finished together, laughing.

Blaine sighed and dragged his eyes slowly up Kurt's body to his face. It wasn't lewd or unwelcome like it usually was when other guys did it, and Kurt's cheeks heated pleasantly under the attention.

"You look really great tonight, Kurt. I usually see you in your casual studying getup, but this is just...whoa."

Trying to slow down his speeding heart and stop it from jumping into the adorable little pocket on Blaine's polo, Kurt made a joke out of it.

"I resent the insinuation that I ever present as anything less than perfect."

Blaine laughed, and assured him that he was correct.

"So I know you don't date now, but did you in the past?" Blaine asked.

"I did up until about two years ago. Nobody remarkable. No murderers, at least." Kurt kept it simple and light, but he could see the remaining questions behind Blaine's eyes that went unasked.

"That's too bad. They're interesting folk."

"I'll probably just take your word for it. So shall we try out some of these conversation starters they've so kindly provided for us?" Kurt asked, picking up a piece of paper from the table.

They were interrupted by the bell, however, and the organizer instructing them to check over their score cards, and to write down the names of any men they wanted to see again.

Ten minutes and an awful, cheesy testimonial video later, they were told to proceed to a table by the exit to collect their cards that held the names and numbers of anyone they matched with.

Kurt waited for Blaine, since they'd agreed to walk home together. Blaine returned, holding a handful of cards.

Kurt raised an eyebrow. "I thought you said everyone was only 'all right?'"

"I thought I'd give a few of them another chance."

Kurt deflated. He hadn't expected Blaine to turn down other guys for him since he'd been very clear on his dating stance. He'd still hoped, though.

"Just out of curiosity...Do any of these cards have your name?" Blaine asked.

Kurt shook his head apologetically. "I didn't put down anyone's name." He didn't look because he didn't want to see any disappointment on Blaine's face. But that meant he didn't see Blaine toss the cards in the trash on the way out the door.


	3. Chapter 3

"Somebody didn't come home last night," Rachel sang as she barged into Kurt's bedroom. "Tell me everything about this speed dating mystery man who wooed Kurt Hummel into his bed in 5 minutes!"

"Calm down, woman. And please stop yelling."

"Oh! Hangover! Did you get drunk by yourself again?"

"Rachel. The volume."

"Sorry. Did you get drunk by yourself again?" she repeated, quieter the second time.

"No, I was with Blaine."

"Barista Blaine?!"

"Do we know another?"

"How did that happen?"

"He was at speed dating and we went home together. But not like that. At least, I think not."

"You think?"

"We shared two bottles of wine. Maybe three? I can't actually remember anything after we finished off the second bottle."

Rachel's face lit with the glee of good drama. "Do you think you had sex? Did you tell him you like him? Did you tell him your number?!"

Kurt rubbed his temples. "I don't know. I don't think any of those things happened. We were watching the backlogged Grey's episodes on his DVR then there was a lot of wine and we had a dance party in his kitchen and the next thing I knew I was waking up on his couch."

"So it's a mystery! I love that! Can we solve it like in The Hangover?"

"First of all, no. Second, there really is no mystery. Come on. We know Blaine. Not well, but enough. Do you really think he'd take advantage of me? And if I did tell him I like him, or my number — which I would never do — don't you think he would respect my request to not act on it?"

Rachel nodded pensively. "You're right. That _is_ the Blaine we know." She patted Kurt's head. "But no more wine for you."

"Don't have to tell me twice. Who are you texting?"

"Blaine. I asked him if he remembers what happened last night and if you shared any secrets. He says 'wine, dancing, and Grey's. No secrets. Not that I'd tell you, Wesley Jr.'"

"When I can open my eyes again, I will destroy you."

"You love me."

"Somehow."

* * *

"My Kurt!"

Kurt whipped around in his desk chair to the sound of Isabelle's voice. His boss had taken a liking to him and tended to call him any pet name that popped into her mind.

"Hi Isabelle! I'm sorry I haven't sent you my article yet. I'm finishing it up as we speak."

"Oh, take your time. I'm only here to hand deliver this."

Kurt took the shimmery eggshell-colored envelope she offered and his jaw dropped. "But this is—"

"An invitation to the fundraising gala. I know. Your work has caught the eye of some important people. I may have also put in a good word for you."

"I don't know what to say. Thank you." He jumped up suddenly. "Oh! I need to go get ready!"

Isabelle laughed at him. "Honey bear, it's in three weeks."

"I know, but I don't have the perfect outfit planned! And if I want to make it myself, I need to start right now!"

"You make me so proud. I'll tell you what. You get me that article by noon and you can have the afternoon to work on your outfit."

"Thank you!"

"I should also point out that they gave you a plus one. So be thinking about which lucky sir you'll have on your arm. Unless you want to bring Rachel again, but what fun would that be?"

Isabelle disappeared from the room with a twirl and Kurt was left staring at the unexpected invitation with pride and excitement bubbling within him.

* * *

"Kurt, I can't believe you were invited to the fundraising gala! This is a big deal!"

Rachel and Kurt rarely spent Friday nights at the coffee shop, because Fridays were their weekly dinner dates. But with midterms coming up, they decided to forego their routine in favor of studying, and found themselves in their usual evening quintet with Wes, David, and Blaine.

"Huge. And they gave me a plus one, so I hope you're ready for a new dress à la Kurt Hummel."

"Ooh, I'd love to go—"

"Ouch! Who did that?" Kurt rubbed his shin, which someone had just kicked under the table.

"As I was saying," Rachel continued when nobody confessed to being the kicker. "I'd love to go—ouch!"

"I don't think Rachel is available that night," David spoke up. "We just made plans to go do something."

"Oh right. We have that...thing. Sorry, Kurt. I can't go."

"But maybe...Blaine, didn't we have a thing that just got canceled that night?" David asked.

"Yeah! That night just cleared out for you."

Kurt rolled his eyes at his friends' antics. "Blaine? Are you free on the 21st? If that's not your scene, I totally understand."

"I'd be honored to go with you," Blaine said as he elbowed Wes hard in the side, eliciting an overly dramatic response. "But will you make me a dress too?"

"Of course! You'll be the prettiest girl there! This works, since you and Rachel have the same coloring, so I can stick with my original color palate. If I…"

The others picked up their conversation while they let Kurt ramble to himself about fabrics and lapels, and Blaine kept sending him sneaky smiles. Kurt caught a few and they made him a little giddy inside before he squashed down the feeling.

At 8 pm, the lights dimmed and the owner of the coffee shop stepped up to the microphone that was set up in the corner for the occasional live performers. Kurt had completely forgotten the fliers that announced Live Music Fridays.

"Ladies and gentlemen, it's your Friday night favorite. Please welcome to the mic, our very own Blaine Anderson!"

Rachel and Kurt watched in surprise as Blaine rose from his seat and headed for the guitar standing by the microphone.

"Good evening. I've got some new friends here tonight, and I'm really feeling the love in the room. Let's kick it off with 'Issues' by Julia Michaels."

The sweet sound of Blaine's acoustic guitar and the magical sound of his voice filled the room and mesmerized everyone.

"Did you know he could sing?" Rachel asked Kurt.

"No, did you?"

"No! This just made him a hundred times more desirable in your book, didn't it?" she whispered so nobody else could hear.

Kurt could only nod dumbly.

"Didn't we tell you we have a band?" David asked.

"The Warblers," Wes tacked on.

"Blaine's our frontman, obviously, because he's Mr. Sexyface. Hey! Wipe the drool off your chin, Kurt."

"Kurt?" Wes tapped him on the shoulder.

Kurt couldn't respond because Blaine had started to sing "Pillowtalk" by Zayn, and his brain had dropped into a much more southern portion of his anatomy.

He watched the remainder of Blaine's set with the rest of the world on mute, even when Wes started throwing balled up napkins at his head. Through the very last note, everything around him buzzed in the background, but his eyes remained on Blaine. When the performer took his bow, Kurt was the first on his feet.

"Congratulations on an amazing set!" Rachel kissed Blaine on the cheek when he returned to their table.

"So we have to get going to...do something, but you should stay so your admiring fans can adore you some more. Kurt offered to stick around and walk home with you," David said.

"I did?" Kurt asked dryly.

"No time for chit chat. Bye!" Rachel walked out of the coffee shop, flanked by David and Wes, off to do who knows what.

"They are ridiculous." Blaine shook his head as he accepted the water Kurt handed to him. "Thanks."

"Forget them. You were incredible. I had no idea you performed! Why didn't you say?"

"It tends to come off as a little douchey to say 'I'm in a band! I play guitar! My voice brings all the boys to the yard!' And you don't quite seem like the type to enjoy such douchiness."

"Oh, so you were trying to impress me?" Kurt flirted jokingly.

"I think maybe I still am."

A blush spread across Kurt's face instantly.

"Oh my god. Hide me. That's my ex." Blaine angled himself behind Kurt and out of sight of a tall, muscular man with short dark hair who was flexing for a guy at a table near the door.

"The Hulk? Is this the one you thought you were in love with?"

"That's the one."

"Oh, honey, no."

"Yeah, yeah, but I have this thing where I need to be loved and when people give me attention I fall head over heels for them, no matter how unhealthy or wrong. It's fine. It's all fine."

Kurt couldn't suppress his smile. "Should I get you an appointment with my therapist?"

"I'm quite happy with my own, thanks." Blaine nudged Kurt's shoulder with his affectionately.

"So he's not your type?"

"Didn't even know I had one until recently."

The blush was back with a vengeance. Blaine sure knew all the right things to say. If only it could matter. Kurt realized his fingernails were absently digging at his cuff again. He wrapped his hands so tightly around his coffee that the cup threatened to collapse in on itself.

"So you've dated all kinds of guys?"

"It seems like every last one. Like I said, I love to be loved. But those relationships have all been superficial and they're not enough for me. I need to hold out now for _the_ guy."

"Ah, yes. I know the one. The ever-elusive man of your dreams who has everything you like and only a few things you hate and who loves you with no strings attached."

"The one with whom you want to share your deepest secrets, who does nice things for you because he wants to and not because he expects something in return, with whom you can have a 2 AM dance party for absolutely no reason."

Kurt was sliding across the bench incrementally as they spoke, and stopped only when his pinkie brushed Blaine's. They locked eyes.

"The one who sings like an angel and always makes you smile, even when you're having the shittiest of days. One with big dreams and an even bigger heart. That one?"

"That one."

They simultaneously turned away to face the table and leaned back against the booth wall with a sigh.

"You'll find him, Blaine. I know you will."


	4. Chapter 4

"This is awkward, right?"

Kurt looked up from where he knelt on the floor between Blaine's legs, pinning the inseam of his gala suit. "Not at all. Nothing about this is awkward. My face is looking directly into your crotch and my fingers are brushing against your inner thigh."

Kurt slapped Blaine's leg as he moved slightly when he laughed. "Stop squirming!"

"You're right. People who have only been friends for two months do this all the time."

Blaine shivered when Kurt ran his fingers down the inseam to smooth it out and sat back on his heels, peering up at Blaine proudly.

"Definitely."

_The only thing that could make this truly awkward would be if you got a—oh, there you go._

Blaine grabbed the perfectly designed suit jacket from the back of a nearby chair and strategically placed it in front of him, face flaming. "Leave now and let me die of shame in peace."

"It's fine," Kurt said, folding his hands in his lap with as much grace as he could manage. "You're not the only one living in Shamesville."

"That actually does make me feel better. We really can't be blamed for how hot we are. Should we, like, turn on Walking Dead or something? Nothing to kill a mood like zombies."

"Probably. But we have to get you out of those pants first."

"Oh my god, Kurt, not helping!"

Kurt let out a stilted laugh, because he, too, was affected by the mental images his words created, and carefully wiggled the pinned pants off Blaine's legs.

At that most opportune moment, Rachel and David burst in the door.

"Oh finally! Don't let us interrupt you two," Rachel said with an exaggerated wink before she and David ran to her room giggling like children.

"Could this get any worse?" Blaine asked, sliding onto the couch in mortification wearing just his boxer briefs.

"Blaine. Please put your pants on," Kurt begged, not ready to move from where the new pants were now resting in his lap. He chucked Blaine's sweatpants across the room onto his friend, who pulled them on.

"Come on, let's have a zombie marathon," Blaine called to him.

"Not yet."

"Don't worry about it. Whatever sense of dignity either of us once had is gone and there's no going back."

"You're right." Kurt rose to join Blaine on the couch. "Plus, like you said, we're both attractive men. Who can blame us?"

Partway through the first episode of Walking Dead, Blaine said what had been weighing on his mind.

"We can both admit we're attracted to each other. Would it really be so bad if we acted on that attraction?"

He kept his eyes on the tv as he spoke, but Kurt still noticed him biting his lip nervously.

Kurt wanted nothing more than to agree, but he couldn't.

"I equate sex with emotions, and I think you do too, so no. I couldn't get tangled up in that."

Blaine was clearly disappointed, but he said he understood. "Give me your feet."

"What?"

"You said earlier that they were sore from your boots. Let me rub them."

Kurt didn't move.

"Come on. Feet."

"But—"

"Do you not share physical touch with your friends?"

Kurt thought about it and realized he rarely did, though a part of him deep down craved it. He shook his head.

"Well you should. Sometimes Wesley and I even cuddle, believe it or not. Now give me your goddamn feet," Blaine demanded with a laugh.

That single massage (the greatest of Kurt's life), was the catalyst to an endless array of casual touches and affectionate gestures. Of course, after Rachel and David told Wes and his girlfriend Katrina that they'd walked in on Kurt taking off Blaine's pants, all of their friends thought the newfound intimacy could be attributed to a sexual relationship. Neither Kurt nor Blaine went to the trouble of correcting them, because they knew it would be a futile effort.

With his blossoming friendship with Blaine, the internship he loved, and the end of his college career in sight, Kurt had never been more content. And for someone who had always been brought down by the prospect of a future alone, that was a rare feeling that he cherished.

* * *

Kurt smoothed his tie nervously as his Uber approached Blaine's apartment. Whether or not he hit things off with the bigwigs at the gala, it had the potential to make or break his career. He was happy that his work had stood for itself previously, because he wasn't great at schmoozing. He had taken Rachel to previous work functions for exactly that reason — she loved networking and talking to the higher-ups. And she won bonus points if she babbled on about her talent and made Kurt look relatively sane in the process. He, on the other hand, tended to stay cool and collected, which was often perceived as pompous. He was glad Blaine would be by his side that night for many reasons, but especially because he was more relaxed and carefree when Blaine was around.

Kurt's breath caught in his throat when he saw Blaine in his perfectly tailored suit for the first time. Blaine always looked classic-movie-star-gorgeous, but seeing him with his dark hair slicked back and in a suit Kurt had made specifically for him, he was breathtaking.

"Hi," Kurt whispered as Blaine slid into the back seat next to him. He seemed to have lost his ability to speak properly.

Blaine didn't respond right away, but his eyes sparkled while they drank in the sight of Kurt. Eventually he leaned forward and gave Kurt's cheek a fleeting kiss before saying a single word.

"You look amazing."

"So do you," Kurt said, volume returning to his voice.

"It's not hard to do when I'm dressed in something as amazing as this suit."

"Stop flattering me, it'll go to my head. I need to be humble for tonight."

"I don't know about that. You might need to be a little bolder than you think. Luckily you have me as your wingman, so to speak."

"I don't know what I'd do without you. Thanks for coming with me. Now, should we have a little fun?" Kurt asked, before pushing play on his phone, filling the car with The Chainsmokers' latest hit.

* * *

"Hi my sweet Kurt!" Isabelle came rushing toward them the moment they stepped through the doors of the gorgeous venue.

"Hello, beautiful Isabelle!"

"My, my, who is this handsome honey on your arm tonight?" she asked, grinning widely.

"This is my friend Blaine. Blaine, this is Isabelle, my boss."

Blaine stuck his hand out for a shake, but Isabelle pulled him into a hug.

"You both look stunning," she told them.

"So do you," Blaine complimented.

"Well my outfit would be nothing had Kurt not suggested the use of feathers at the bottom of the gown. He's my hidden gem. I'm not sure I want to share him tonight!"

"You'll be after Blaine instead of me by the end of the night," Kurt told her. "He's a wizard on the dance floor."

"Well save me a dance, okay? I'm off to rub elbows with my superiors. Good luck out there." She blew a kiss and left them to their own devices.

Shortly after Isabelle left them, a woman approached them.

"I just saw you with Isabelle — you must be Kurt! She says such wonderful things about your writing. I'm Amina Khoury in design."

"Wow, thank you, Ms. Khoury. This is my friend, Blaine."

She did a double take. "Blaine Anderson?!"

He smiled and accepted the hug she offered. "It's been so long Mina! How is Nikki?"

"Oh she's just wonderful. Just married and I hope they'll give me grandchildren soon. I still wish she would have married you, but I see now why you said it would never work between the two of you." She winked in Kurt's direction.

"She's a lovely young lady and her husband is lucky to have her. So you've seen Kurt's articles? Did you know he's a fashion design major, too? And hugely talented." Blaine beamed at Kurt.

Blaine chatted away, Kurt following his lead, and they separated from Amina after ten minutes with the excuse of needing to find drinks.

No sooner did they arrive at the bar, a tall man, who looked fantastic for his age, clapped his hands in recognition. "Blaine Anderson! I didn't think I'd see you here!"

Kurt looked at Blaine skeptically. "Did you plant these people here so you'd seem cool to me?" he whispered.

Blaine laughed it off and shook hands with the man.

"Kurt this is Jim Howard. Jim, my friend Kurt Hummel. He's working under Isabelle Wright, and is the best intern Vogue has ever seen."

Jim shook Kurt's hand too. "Pleasure to meet you. I'm the Director of Finance. My wife Shauna is in editing. I'll tell her to keep her eyes peeled for this up and coming Kurt. I trust the Anderson word. Blaine, how is your dad?"

Jim wasn't the last person Blaine knew at the gala, and by the time the guests were seated and the speakers were about to begin, Kurt was flabbergasted.

"Care to tell me how you seem to know literally everyone here?"

"So maybe my parents used to own a major fashion magazine that they sold to Vogue two years ago?"

Kurt felt faint. His eyes bugged out. "Your parents owned _Chic_?! You're from _that_ Anderson family? Okay. All right. Cool cool cool."

"You sound anything but cool." Blaine smirked at him.

"Yeah, well, I thought I was doing great, but I suddenly feel so small next to you."

Blaine's smirk melted into a heartfelt smile as he grabbed Kurt's hand. "Then I'll lift you up. That's what I'm here for."

* * *

Blaine and Kurt led the charge on the dance floor. Isabelle had warned Kurt that all Vogue parties went to the highest level (especially by the end of the night when everyone had indulged a little too much and cared about appearances far too little), but he hadn't been prepared to see his idols let loose like they were.

He hadn't left Blaine's side, save for one dance each of them had with Isabelle, and things were electric between them. That, or Kurt was tingling from one too many Cosmopolitans, which was a real possibility. They were alternating between dancing their hearts out and stepping out on the balcony to cool off and have long talks about whatever topics were on their minds.

A song came on that Blaine didn't care for, so they took another break in the chilly fall air.

Kurt leaned his head against Blaine's shoulder as they looked out into the starry night.

"This is so fun. I'm glad our friends are idiots and decided that they had 'a thing' tonight. I'm bringing you to all my future parties, and not just because you are apparently a fashion magazine legacy and can talk me up to everyone important."

"I'm glad too. I've been to tons of these parties and I've never had such a good time. You're the best dance partner I've ever had." He grabbed Kurt's hand and twirled him under his arm until they were face-to-face. Blaine's hands grabbed Kurt's hips and pulled him closer.

Kurt's heart was racing faster than it had been when he was dancing, and his body easily accepted Blaine's more-than-friendly touch. He knew what was coming and knew it was dangerous. He hesitated and pulled back slightly.

"Come on, Kurt. Just kiss me. If you can truly say afterward that you didn't feel anything, then I'll never ask you for anything again."

Alarm bells were ringing in Kurt's head, but he wanted so desperately to be close to someone again, especially if that someone was his perfect friend, so he closed the distance between them.

And he did feel it. He'd felt it all along. He felt it in Blaine's soft, warm lips moving with his, and in Blaine's tongue tasting and taking, and in Blaine's roaming hands that may have been a little uninhibited by the alcohol consumed that evening. But he had to resist it.

"No, I wasn't done," Blaine whined, chasing Kurt's mouth.

"Blaine, I can't."

Blaine deflated instantly. "I know you don't want to date. Whatever happened to you in the past, I promise I won't do the same to you. Please."

"It's not that I don't want to date. I _can't_ date."

"Is this about your number? Because I don't care how little time we have together, as long as we get to have it at all."

It broke his heart to shut Blaine down. Kurt bit his lip and thought hard about what he wanted to say.

"It is about my number, but not like you think. That's all I'll ever say about it. I don't want to talk about numbers with you or anyone else now or ever." He didn't say it unkindly, but firmly enough to let Blaine know the conversation was closed.

Blaine furrowed his brow, but agreed. "Okay. I can respect that. We won't talk about it. I won't pressure you into a relationship with me."

Kurt sighed, cuddling into Blaine's side. "Just know that it's complicated. I really wish things were different, because you're the best person I know and that kiss was...it's complicated, okay?"

Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt and matched his sigh. "Okay."


	5. Chapter 5

After the Vogue gala, Blaine and Kurt struggled to keep the line drawn between friendship and something more. Both knew that nothing was going to happen, but that didn't stop their hearts and bodies from being tempted. They settled for a middle ground, where they spent an inordinate amount of time together, shared casual and affectionate touches, and confided in each other secrets they wouldn't admit even to themselves. Matters were only made worse by the fact that they were now left alone with each other nearly every day since David and Rachel were dating and Wes visited his girlfriend every chance he had. Kurt sometimes worried he was sending the wrong messages to Blaine, but then he reminded himself that he had been as clear as day when he said they couldn't date.

Kurt found himself testing that boundary as he admired Blaine's ass from the audience of his first Warblers gig. He couldn't be blamed, because Blaine was bending over helping the drummer adjust his set and his ass was just right there on display for all to ogle. Really, it was all Blaine's fault.

"You're doing it again," Rachel teased, knocking their knees together. "Daydreaming about how good I-swear-he's-not-my-boyfriend Blaine would be in bed?"

"Wow. That's wildly inappropriate."

"You didn't deny it."

Kurt blushed and turned around to talk to Wes' girlfriend Katrina, who sat on his other side, steadfastly ignoring Rachel's content pestering.

Together with the partners of the Warblers' band members, they were crammed around a small circular table close to the stage. The concert was in the back room of a local brewery and Kurt was surprised to find the place was packed. He knew Blaine was talented, but had no clue the reach the band had or how many devoted, screaming fangirls they had.

Before long, the lights dimmed and the band took the stage to enthusiastic applause. The boys began playing without any preamble, and Kurt was instantly blown away.

They played mostly cover songs with a couple of Blaine's originals that Kurt had heard him play solo on open mic nights. They bantered between numbers, danced with each other while the band jammed, hit all the perfect notes, and they seemed like rock stars. Blaine was obviously fabulous, but David and Wes were equally skilled, and the three of them together had a radiant stage presence that captivated everyone in the audience. Wes even came across as relatively normal until he was left to make jokes while the other two hydrated, or to do his own choreography to their version of Rihanna's _Work_.

"Kat, they're so good! How has Blaine failed to mention this?!" Kurt turned to see Katrina hiding her face in her hands.

"You choose right now to make that judgment? Of all the wonderful things they've done tonight, you think 'oh wow, they're so good' when my boyfriend is literally humping the ground while trying and failing to do the worm?"

Kurt could hardly hear her over the raucous laughter of the audience. He patted her on the shoulder gently. "So it's not his athletic ability that draws you to him. Can't win them all! Seriously though, why aren't they touring the world yet? Why don't they have a recording contract?"

Katrina shrugged. "They don't want that. All three of them have things they want to do with their lives — David working for his family's architecture firm, Blaine working for a record label, Wes starting med school — and they'd rather keep their music as a hobby. Plus, Wes' number isn't the greatest, so he wants to do as many things as possible while he has the chance."

It shocked Kurt to hear about Wes' number, but suddenly his uninhibited personality made sense. Kurt knew it wasn't the appropriate time or place for the conversation, but he couldn't stop himself from asking. "What is it like being with someone you know won't be around for a long time?"

"It's life," Katrina shrugged. "I love Wes and I wouldn't change that even if I wanted to. I know our life together won't be terribly long, but what we do have is perfect. The years we have left will be so much more fulfilling together than apart."

Kurt reached over and squeezed her hand just at the moment when all three boys zeroed in on their table and threw them winks. The crowd _oohed_ with jealousy and Kurt realized that for once, he wished there was a reason for them to be jealous of him.

* * *

Rachel, Katrina, and Kurt lingered around their table waiting for the boys to emerge from backstage, though they knew they'd have to share them with their adoring fans who were also waiting.

Blaine bounded out first, immediately finding Kurt in the crowd and scooping him up in a bear hug.

"You were amazing! That was the best concert I've ever been to with the exception of all four Lady Gaga shows I've seen," Kurt told him.

"Thank you!" Blaine's eyes were sparkling with the high of the performance. He gave the two girls hugs and kisses on the cheek and went back to Kurt's side, arm going around his shoulders as fans started daring to come up to talk to him. Wes and David joined shortly after, and Kurt was once again awed at how easily the three of them handled their adoring fans.

The crowd had thinned out half an hour later, and Wes excused himself to go speak to someone he knew. He returned after a minute with a tall, handsome man in tow. Wes dragged the man by the wrist and the two of them settled in across the table from Blaine and Kurt with their chins in their hands, staring at Kurt.

"This again?" Kurt asked exasperatedly, leaning back farther in his seat and into Blaine's side. Blaine's arm tightened around his shoulders.

"That's Kurt," Wes explained in a low voice to the man. "See what I was talking about?"

The man nodded. "I do. It's even crazier close up like this."

"Please don't let anything he does reflect negatively on me," Blaine whispered to Kurt while they watched him right back.

"You think I was right?" Wes asked the man.

"Definitely. He's the one we've been looking for."

Wes and the man straightened up and smiled. The man held out his hand to Kurt.

"Cooper Anderson, Blaine's big bro. No need to introduce yourself. I know everything I need to know about you."

"Umm…" Kurt was at a loss.

"Jesus, Wes. Didn't I specifically forbid you from talking to my brother ever again?"

"I do not recall that conversation," Wes lied robotically.

"Don't worry, he just wanted me to see _the_ Kurt Hummel in person. And he was right. It's freaky."

"What's freaky?" Kurt asked, intrigued.

"How perfect you are for that guy." He pointed emphatically at Blaine.

"This is exactly why the two of you aren't allowed any contact, Cooper!" Blaine said, rolling his eyes at his brother. "You're such a creep.

"Is this any way to speak to your big brother who you've missed every day for the past six months?" Cooper pouted.

"Sorry. You're such a _fucking_ creep." Blaine crossed his arms and he and Cooper had a short standoff before Blaine broke first, grabbing Cooper up into a massive hug.

"It's so good to see you again, Coop. Let's grab some more drinks and I can properly introduce you to Kurt, instead of whatever crazy tales Wesley has told you."

"I'd like that," he said, following Blaine and Kurt to the bar, but throwing a thumbs up behind him to Wes.

* * *

"Is that The Warblers' Blaine Anderson working at a coffee shop?"

"Good morning, Kurt. The usual?" Blaine gave him a smile that lacked its normal enthusiasm.

"Yes please. A little hungover from the after party last night?"

Blaine shook his head and proceeded to the espresso machine to make Kurt's drink. Kurt moved to the pick-up side of the counter and waited. Something was obviously wrong with Blaine, but he knew him well enough by now to know not to press the issue.

"I'll be here for the next hour or so if you want to take your break and talk about anything," Kurt said as he took the hot drink from Blaine's hands.

"Thanks, Kurt," Blaine replied softly.

Not ten minutes later, Blaine was sliding into Kurt's booth and giving him a huge hug.

"What's going on?" Kurt asked. "You were on top of the world last night."

"Wes and Katrina were at the apartment when I got home. He proposed."

Kurt clapped his hands together. "That's great news! I'm so happy for them! But you're...not?"

"No, I am! I am. That's not it. It's that they'll be moving in together next week and Wes won't be my roommate anymore."

"Oh, I see."

"Do you? Because I think I'm being a big baby. I have no right to be upset about him moving on with his life and being happy. It isn't a surprise that it happened, just that it's all happening so quickly."

"I don't think you're being a baby," Kurt assured him. "How long have the two of you lived together?"

"Since sophomore year of high school."

"That's a long time to be that close to someone everyday. It seems totally natural that you'd grieve the loss of that. As long as you're not banging your little fists on the ground and demanding that he stay, I think you are justified in feeling the way you feel."

Blaine gave a small smile. "Thanks. But there's also the issue of me needing a new place to live. I can't afford that rent on my own."

"What? Aren't your parents sitting on top of a small fortune?"

Blaine laughed. "They are, but I wanted to prove I could work my way through school and be successful on my own. I have a weird pride thing. It's...whatever."

"Well I might just have the answers to all your problems. Rachel and I have been wanting a third roommate ever since Santana left us for the west coast. I'll talk to her, but I'm sure she'd be more than happy to let you move in. It's not far from where you live now, the rent is manageable split three ways, and you can fill the void left by Wes with me, your new best friend."

"Are you sure? That would be amazing." Blaine was running his finger along the edge of the cuff that covered his number, leaving Kurt with the urge to know what was underneath. He hated that thought, and pushed it away just as quickly as it had come to him.

"Positive."


	6. Chapter 6

Living with Blaine was perfect in so many ways.

Like how Blaine left early most days for his shifts at the coffee shop, and he often left breakfast for Kurt and Rachel to find when they awoke. He took extra care to make blueberry muffins (Kurt's favorite) and vegan sausage (Rachel's favorite) whenever he could.

Or how Kurt could come home at the end of a long day and curl up with Blaine on the couch to watch TV. To Kurt this was more relaxing than yoga or a long walk could ever be. He didn't even mind if Blaine liked watching superhero shows, because just watching Blaine's reactions was better than watching the show itself.

Then there was the fact that they gave each other pedicures, something Kurt was constantly trying to get Rachel to do, but she shrieked any time she even saw bare feet. Kurt didn't even feel bad that offering Blaine a pedicure was just an excuse for Kurt to get one of Blaine's famous foot massages in return.

Of course there was how Blaine had a tendency to walk around in the mornings in his pajamas, which consisted of a pair of low-hanging sweatpants and nothing else. Kurt knew Blaine went out of his way to cross paths with him when he was in such a state of undress. There were times when he had to physically hold his jaw closed until Blaine passed by. In retaliation, Kurt made sure to do his dance workouts shirtless in the living room just when he knew Blaine would be coming home from a shift or class.

And his favorite thing by far was drifting off most nights listening to Blaine practice songs for his next Warblers gig or set at the coffee shop. He would never tire of hearing Blaine's smooth voice, especially when it sounded like Blaine was singing to him.

But living with Blaine was also far from perfect.

He hated how Blaine was always late for dinner. He was always late to everything, actually, which was baffling for someone so meticulous about so many other things. Kurt took to packaging the food up for him to be reheated later without even serving it most days.

And he didn't like how Blaine and Rachel argued a lot (though it was a far cry from the fights she and Santana had). He quickly grew sick of their bickering. They were like a pair of siblings with a love/hate relationship. Kurt could relate, but he couldn't stand the sound of Rachel whining at something Blaine asked her to do.

Maybe the worst (or best) was how Kurt's bedroom shared a wall with his and he could hear every time Blaine masturbated at night. He couldn't be positive that Blaine didn't hear his moans in return on the all too frequent nights when Kurt couldn't resist jerking himself off while thinking about what Blaine was doing on the other side of the wall.

Then there was the time Kurt and Blaine accidentally kissed. They'd been watching a movie together and Kurt was falling asleep. He looked up and found his face right in Blaine's, and instead of saying that he was going to bed like he'd intended, he found his lips on his friend's. Blaine responded immediately, molding to Kurt's body and melting into the kiss. Kurt was practically vibrating with the intensity of it all, but he forced himself to pull away when he realized what he was doing. He'd said "I'm so sorry, Blaine, that wasn't fair of me. I haven't changed my mind about dating," and Blaine was a saint as always and understood. But things shifted between them from that moment on. They may have "accidentally" kissed one or two or five more times after that.

* * *

"Roommate Blaine!" Rachel squealed as she walked into the apartment the day before Thanksgiving. "I'm going to miss you!"

He gave her a quick squeeze and turned back to the bags he and Kurt had packed to take a mental inventory.

"And you won't miss me?" Kurt asked. "Rude."

"You're not shiny and new like Roommate Blaine. Sorry."

"You sure you don't want to come with us?" Blaine asked Rachel for the hundredth time.

"I'm sure. My dads are on a cruise for their anniversary and David is planning to stay here as well. We will have a nice, intimate Thanksgiving with lots of—"

"Nope!" Kurt yelped, throwing out his hand. "I'm going to stop you there."

"Tofurkey. I was going to say Tofurkey," she said with a smirk.

"We better get going," Blaine said to Kurt who was still shivering and gagging at the thought of Rachel and David's Thanksgiving activities. "You got the snacks?"

Kurt motioned to three large bags by the door and Blaine gaped.

"Kurt, we're going on a ten hour drive, not preparing for the apocalypse."

"Watch it. You're at my mercy since I'm driving. I could easily leave you at a rest stop in Pennsylvania. And I know you've listened to enough of those crime podcasts to know what happens at rest stops."

"I take it back! We will eat every last bite of what's in those bags, and they'll be the best snacks we've ever tasted."

"That's what I thought."

* * *

The mini road trip was torture for Kurt when he hadn't been expecting it to be at all. Being alone with Blaine in such close quarters for ten hours straight turned out to be extremely difficult, which came as a shock when everything else with Blaine was so easy.

But suddenly, his car smelled of Blaine's body wash, his auditory system was overwhelmed with Blaine's voice, and his whole being was taken over by the boy in his passenger seat. The feelings he usually easily kept at bay now clawed their way up out of his heart and tried to take hold in his brain.

For once, it was all Kurt could do _not_ to blurt out that he'd been wrong and he wanted to date. Blaine was irresistible to him, like a drug, and until that point, he'd gotten his fill in frequent low doses. Sitting there in his car, that seemed like impossibly little. He was already addicted to Blaine, but now he wanted it all.

Kurt had to fight it, but he couldn't hold it off entirely. So he picked his battles. He fought off the urge to tell Blaine how he felt, but he didn't fight the urge to reach over the console and hold his hand. Because if he kept Blaine at arm's length, then Blaine couldn't get hurt.

Blaine's heartbreakingly beautiful smile at Kurt's gesture reminded him that keeping it inside was worth it.

He waited for Blaine to finish singing along with the song playing before speaking. "You positive you want to stay at my parents' house tonight? I can swing by and drop you off at Cooper's first if you'd rather?" Kurt couldn't deny that he was nervous for Blaine to meet his parents. Burt would surely see right through him the second he saw them together.

"Of course I'm sure! I can't wait. It's too bad my parents are out of town, or else you could meet them too."

Kurt felt a tug in the pit of his stomach. Blaine wanted him to meet his parents. In another life, he would have been thrilled at the thought of such a relationship milestone. But in this one, he'd have to settle for meeting Blaine's parents as a friend.

He squeezed Blaine's hand before reluctantly pulling his away to place it back on the steering wheel and face the rest of the drive.

* * *

"Here we are," Kurt announced as they pulled into the driveway of his parents' house. "Home sweet home."

He and Blaine climbed out of the car, legs thanking them for the much-needed stretch. Kurt thought the fresh air and physical distance between him and Blaine would help dull the pull in his heart, but he still felt it as strong as ever. He tried shaking it off and pulled his bag out of the car, leading Blaine inside.

Kurt felt as nervous as Blaine probably was, but for a very different reason. Since Finn's death two years ago, Kurt had only been to the house once. He was worried going back would bring up emotions he didn't want to face again.

Burt and Carole were waiting in the entryway to greet them with hugs.

"Dad, it's so good to see you," Kurt mumbled against his dad's shirt.

"You too, bud. It's been too long since you've been home."

"I know. I won't stay away so long again." Even though the smell, the feel, and the sight of home dredged up awful memories, being with his dad and Carole again was worth it.

Kurt pulled away from Burt to give Carole a hug, then pulled Blaine forward.

"This is Blaine."

"Burt," said Kurt's dad, sticking out his hand for a shake. Kurt could see him sizing up Blaine and he rolled his eyes. "It's great to finally meet you."

"You too. And you must be the Carole who Kurt raves about," Blaine said, giving Carole a squeeze.

"That would be me! You boys can go put your things in Kurt's room. I made sure the sheets are fresh and the dust is gone."

Kurt blushed beet red. "What? Blaine is supposed to use the guest room. That's what I told dad."

Burt chuckled. "Yeah, and I figured you were just being pig headed. The guest room is made up for Carole's sister and her husband who are supposed to arrive tomorrow."

"I was not being pig headed! Blaine and I are not together! You know I can't be with anyone, Dad. Come on."

Burt looked apologetic, but still had a trace of a sly grin on his face. "Sorry, kiddo."

"Kurt, it's fine," Blaine spoke up. "I can stay in your room."

Kurt sighed and picked up his bag again. "All right. Follow me."

Blaine tagged along down the hallway to Kurt's bedroom, where Kurt threw down his bag and flopped on the bed closing his eyes.

"God, it's been forever since I've been here. Just put your stuff wherever."

When he opened his eyes, he noticed Blaine looking around. He was suddenly embarrassed that his personal touches hadn't been updated in two years.

"Who is this?" Blaine asked, running his finger along a picture frame on the bookshelf.

"Oh! That's Max, my last boyfriend. I guess I never took that down. I haven't been back here since he and I broke up."

Blaine shrugged. "Just curious. What about this?" He pointed to a canvas print of Burt, Carole, Kurt, and Finn.

Kurt sighed. He never realized the subject of Finn hadn't come up with Blaine yet. It wasn't surprising, given that Finn was an off-limits topic of conversation around Rachel most of the time.

"That's my step-brother, Finn. Carole's son. He and Rachel were on-again-off-again, but she swears he was her one true love. He, um...he died two years ago." Kurt fought off the stinging behind his eyes that he always felt when talking about Finn.

"What? I never knew you had a step-brother!" Blaine moved to sit on the bed close to Kurt.

"It's too painful for Rachel to talk about, so we just kind of...don't. Sorry I'm getting a little choked up. Being home again brings me back. The last time I was here was the week of his funeral."

"Oh, Kurt," Blaine scooted closer and put his arms out for Kurt to curl into. "This must be so hard for you."

Kurt took solace in Blaine's arms. He only cried a little, but clung on tightly, Blaine's steady beating heart and quiet words of condolence an anchor to which he tied himself.

Blaine's consolation, though two years late, was exactly what he needed to help him through the grieving process. It was everything he wished he'd had at the time that his dad and Rachel couldn't give him since they too, were drowned in sorrow.

Kurt wasn't sure how much later it was when he pulled away from Blaine, only to find that the room had darkened because the sun had gone down.

"Thank you," Kurt whispered. "I really needed that."

"I can tell. You can come to me any time."

"I know I can."

* * *

With Carole's delicious dinner in their bellies, they spent hours playing games around a card table until Carole sent them up to bed, reminding them that the next day was Thanksgiving and a big day with lots of family for all.

The boys retreated to Kurt's room, changed into pajamas, and were ready to go to sleep.

"So there's only one bed," Kurt stated bluntly.

He and Blaine looked at each other, traded shrugs, and jumped in.

"I'm thankful for your friendship every day, but especially today, when everything in me wants to break apart, but you help hold it together," Kurt whispered to Blaine when he was situated in bed.

"I'm thankful for you, too."

Blaine put a warm hand on Kurt's upper arm and pulled him in. Kurt lay his head on Blaine's shoulder and listened as Blaine's soothing breaths slowed and he drifted off to sleep.

Kurt, of course, couldn't sleep. After about an hour, he peeled himself away from Blaine and padded downstairs to make some chamomile tea.

"What are you doing up still?" Burt was sitting at the counter, going over some papers Kurt assumed were bills.

"Can't sleep. Blaine's out like a light, though."

"Sorry I pushed you to share a room," Burt apologized.

"No you aren't." Kurt snorted.

"Okay, you got me. So tell me, son, why are you keeping Blaine away from your heart?"

"Damn it," Kurt muttered as he set the tea kettle on the stove top. "I knew this would happen with your creepy dad sixth-sense."

Burt just smiled smugly and waited.

"Fine. If I don't let Blaine in, Blaine can't get hurt. This isn't news to you. It's why I broke up with Max."

"But Blaine isn't Max. Max wasn't the one for you. And I think your theory is bullshit."

"So you've said. And how do you know Blaine is the one for me?"

Burt just gave him a look with raised eyebrows.

"Listen," Burt said after a minute. "All I'm saying is maybe you should let Blaine decide."

"But then I'd have to—"

"Tell him. That's right. Tell him everything and let him make the decision instead of continuing your complicated little dance. Tell him about your number, tell him about me and Finn, tell him about your mom. Just talk to him."

Kurt paled. "I can't. That would be...I can't."

"What's stopping you?"

Kurt poured steaming water into his cup and dipped his tea bag in while he thought.

"Mom is gone. Finn is gone. You've had all those scares. I can't let Blaine in that way, because I can't let something happen to him too." He was resolute and Burt could tell there would be no changing his mind over his cup of tea.

Burt shook his head. "Someday you'll say to yourself, 'I should have listened to my dad.'"

"Straight out of the Dad Handbook! I thought your dad talks were better than that!"

Burt pretended to be wounded.

"I love you, Dad."

"Love you kiddo."

* * *

Nothing was better than waking up next to Blaine, their bodies intertwined.

Nothing was worse than both of them rolling to face away from each other in hopes of hiding their morning erections and pretending they didn't know why the other was doing the same.

Eventually they overcame their embarrassment and dressed. Then Blaine helped Kurt prepare his big Thanksgiving breakfast, which ended up being more delicious than any Thanksgiving dinner Blaine could ever remember eating.

In the early afternoon just as a thunderstorm began, after spending hours in the kitchen preparing yet another Thanksgiving meal (dinner this time), Cooper arrived to pick up Blaine.

"I'll see you in two days," Kurt said. "I'll be there around eight."

"I remember. Thanks for welcoming me into your home," Blaine said to the Hummels. He hugged Carole and Burt and gave Kurt a kiss on the cheek before running out into the storm to Cooper's car.

Kurt smiled as he watched Blaine, feeling content and grateful on Thanksgiving for the first time in years.

He busied himself with the stuffing and pumpkin pie, which took over an hour. He put the pie in the oven and washed his hands. All that was left was to wait for Carole's family to arrive.

He saw his phone lighting up with a call from Blaine.

_Probably letting me know he got home safely,_ Kurt thought fondly.

"Hey Blaine," Kurt answered.

"Kurt? It's Cooper." Kurt could instantly tell something was wrong. "We were in an accident."


	7. Chapter 7

_Kurt had finally fallen asleep around midnight after a long day of work and classes when his phone rang._

_His heart was racing; middle of the night phone calls were never good news. And based on Finn's frantic text the day before about how his number plummeted overnight, he knew in the pit of his stomach that it would be devastating. Despite wanting to refuse to answer, he picked up the phone flashing his dad's caller ID picture._

" _Dad?" he answered sleepily._

" _Kurt." Burt's voice was thick with emotion. "Finn was in an accident."_

_Kurt couldn't breathe for a moment._

" _What? Is he…?"_

_Burt's heavy silence was exactly the response Kurt didn't want to hear._

_As he waded through a river of grief, he had only one thought._ This is because of me.

* * *

Kurt made it to the hospital in record time. Cooper hadn't given him any details, just that the nurses had taken Blaine back to examine him and where he'd be waiting. Kurt rushed through the doors and came face-to-face with Cooper, whose arms and forehead were patched up with a few bandages.

They embraced long enough for Kurt to slow down and notice how badly he was shaking. Cooper calmly steered him toward a seat and pushed him down.

"What's going on? How are you? Have you heard anything about Blaine?" Kurt asked, feeling almost frantic, wildly lost without the heavy anchor that was Blaine by his side.

"We were hit by a drunk driver on Blaine's side of the car. I got away with just a few scratches, but they had to take Blaine by ambulance. It looked so bad, Kurt. And his screams…"

Kurt squeezed his eyes shut, blocking out long-hidden memories from surfacing. Cooper's voice was steady, though, and it kept Kurt from spiraling.

"They haven't given me any updates yet. I don't know if that's good or bad. I didn't actually realize how much time had passed until you got here. I'm glad you could come. Blaine actually...he was calling for you after the accident."

It hurt so deeply to think of Blaine in such pain. What would Kurt do if Blaine was torn away from him?

A doctor approached before he had a chance to respond.

"Mr. Anderson? I'm going to take you back to see your brother now."

Cooper stood and pulled Kurt up with him. "He's coming too. This is Blaine's husband, Kurt."

The doctor easily accepted the lie and led the way down a long corridor. He stopped at a room numbered 511 and opened the door, stepping aside to let Kurt and Cooper pass.

Kurt's heart pounded, afraid of what he would find. He couldn't go through another tragedy like Finn's. Especially with Blaine, who meant more to him than he was willing to admit. It would ruin him.

He forced his eyes up and hysterical laughter bubbled up in his throat, because there was Blaine, wide-eyed and smiling, sitting up on the hospital bed and spooning chocolate pudding into his mouth.

Cooper had immediately run to Blaine's side to hug him and check on him, and turned back after a minute.

"What's wrong with him?" Cooper asked, nodding toward Kurt who stood immobile in the doorway, unable to control his laughing.

Blaine motioned for Kurt to come closer, and he did, until he was in the circle of Blaine's arms. Only then did his laughs morph into sobs.

Blaine held him the best he could and whispered into Kurt's hair that he was all right, things were fine, and how glad he was to see him until his cries tapered off.

"I'm sorry," Kurt said, wiping his eyes and pulling back. "I'm just so happy that you're okay. I was so afraid, and it was like reliving—"

Blaine cringed. "I know. But it's not like that. I'm okay. I'll be doing things one-legged for a while, but I'm okay."

Kurt looked down the bed to where Blaine's leg was bandaged from the knee to ankle.

"I had a major laceration and the doctors were trying to decide if it needed surgery or not. That's what took so long. Looks like I won't need surgery, though I will be on crutches for a few weeks while this heals."

"And you're feeling okay?" Cooper asked.

"Great. They gave me some good pain meds. Not enough to make me loopy, but enough to feel good."

While the doctor talked to Cooper and Blaine about his home plan and what to expect, Kurt's mind raced.

He was equal parts relieved and horrified. Blaine was injured but he was fine. Still, it had been a close call. Too close. Could he keep it from happening again, possibly with a worse outcome? Kurt swallowed painfully. He knew what he had to do.

* * *

The next few weeks were strange. Blaine had stayed at Cooper's while he healed enough to comfortably fly back to New York, which meant Kurt made the road trip back by himself.

Though he'd been invited by both Blaine and Cooper to stay the rest of the long weekend after Thanksgiving, he refused, returning to his parents' house instead. He needed the space. He couldn't bear to see Blaine, a living reminder of what impact he could have on those who got too close to him.

Blaine texted and called him frequently during that weekend and the following weeks, but Kurt distanced himself except to ask twice a day how Blaine was healing.

Blaine's texts became more distant in return, and he sounded hurt in his unanswered voicemails. Kurt felt less like himself than he ever had, with Blaine largely missing from his life. He knew it was for the best, though. He'd gotten too casual with his touches, too loose with his boundaries, too open with his heart.

The day Blaine was due to return to the NYC apartment, Kurt paced the floor until Wes texted him that they'd arrived, and to please let them in. When he did, his resolve to stay away crumbled.

"Hi," Kurt whispered, inviting Blaine into his arms for a tight hug. Seeing Blaine again was the biggest relief for his aching, incomplete soul. He helped him put away his bags, made him dinner, and settled in on the couch to watch movies together, just like they always had. Kurt held his hand protectively and gratefully and for a few hours, things were just how they'd been weeks ago.

Laying in bed that night, Kurt kicked himself for letting Blaine back in. He had to be stronger, dig deeper for the willpower to stay away.

So over the next week, he started tiptoeing around Blaine. He still checked in about his well-being and helped him redress his bandages, but he kept his distance by staying out of the apartment as often as he could, and coming home only when he knew Blaine would be out.

He should have known it wouldn't be long before Blaine called him on his bullshit. He always did.

"Kurt?" Blaine called one day when they were both home. Kurt waved and tried to retreat down the hall to his bedroom, but Blaine put a crutch up, blocking his path.

"What are you doing?" Blaine asked.

"Taking this snack to my room," Kurt responded.

"No, I mean what are you doing to me? Why are you acting like this?" Blaine's eyes were flooded with pain and confusion.

Kurt gave in and sat down at their dining table, unable to resist when Blaine was hurting. "Sit. I don't want your leg starting to bother you," he insisted.

Blaine rolled his eyes, but complied. "This is exactly what I mean. You're ignoring me most of the time, but you're also so pushy about my recovery sometimes. Being around you is like being on a roller coaster, and not in a good way."

Kurt hung his head. "I'm sorry, Blaine. I'm...remember our motto? 'It's complicated?' That's all I can really say right now. I've been very worried about you. That's why I've been weird about your recovery. And I'm still very worried that something else will happen to you. That's why I'm staying away."

"I don't understand."

"I don't expect you to," Kurt said sadly, clutching his cuffed wrist to his chest. "I just really don't want you to get hurt again."

"You shouldn't worry about me."

"Well I do, and if I'm in any way to blame for what happened or what happens to you, I won't be able to live with myself."

"You can't blame yourself for mine and Cooper's accident. It could have happened anywhere at any time, not just because we were leaving your house."

"No, you don't understand." Kurt tugged at his fingers in frustration.

"Clearly. I can't if you don't explain it to me!"

Kurt felt defeated. He no longer had the energy for the discussion. "I'm just really worried about you. Can we leave it at that?"

Blaine didn't confirm or deny, but had a strange look on his face. He looked deep into Kurt's eyes.

"I need to talk to you about something pretty important."

He hadn't expected the conversation to swerve like it had, but Blaine was calm again and he looked desperate. Kurt sat down nervously next to him, running through possibilities in his head.

"I'd like to show you my number."

That had not been one of the possibilities.

"No."

"I'm not asking for yours—"

"No."

"I just—"

"I can't believe you, Blaine! We've talked about this. We don't share our numbers." Kurt was fuming, but Blaine remained calm and took his hand.

"I know what we've said. It's just that you're so upset about me getting hurt and I want to ease your mind a little."

"Trust me. Nothing could possibly ease my mind about that."

Blaine's eyes hardened and his voice took on a defensive air. "You know, typically when people get serious in a relationship, they make this decision to share numbers."

Kurt froze.

"Serious relationship? What are you talking about?"

Blaine looked genuinely confused. "Us?"

Kurt scoffed. "We aren't in a relationship."

"What? We go out on dates. We've met each other's families. We live together. We kiss and hold hands. We buy each other flowers and little gifts that remind us of each other. That's a relationship. And a serious one."

"No." Kurt was starting to sound like a broken record. "I told you I'm not interested in a relationship."

"You think that by not putting a label on it, it doesn't exist? You think that saying we aren't together stopped us from acting like a couple?"

"We're really good friends. You know I don't date. I've been explicitly clear on that from the start."

"No, actually, you haven't. Actions speak louder than words, Kurt. Saying we aren't dating didn't stop us from going on dates. Saying you don't want a relationship didn't stop you from kissing me all those times." Blaine's adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed hard. "Saying this isn't a relationship didn't stop me from falling in love with you!"

Blaine's sniffle was the only thing that pierced the silence in the room.

"Fuck. No. You can't," Kurt mumbled, scrambling to his feet. "This isn't a thing. It can't be."

"Why not, Kurt? Tell me. Please, have mercy on me and tell me why you push me away like this." Blaine took a step toward Kurt so he was close enough to feel his body heat.

Kurt was torn as he remembered his dad's advice. He opened his mouth, but words wouldn't come out, no matter how badly he wanted them to. Half of him wanted to stay there with the man who had just said he loved him, but the other half won out. He turned to run.

As he turned, the snap of his wrist cuff caught on one of the wing nuts from Blaine's crutch, and the cuff tore away.

He froze in panic for a split second before rushing to pick his cuff up off the ground. When he stood, he met Blaine's eyes and knew that he'd seen. It was too late.


	8. Chapter 8

_Kurt didn't remember much from the accident that killed his mom and traumatized him. He suppressed most of the memories from that time in his life. All he had to remember it by were second-hand accounts. He knew that they had been in a remote area late at night in the middle of winter. He knew that spinning off the road and hitting a tree instantly killed his mother, and that he'd been seriously injured and had stopped breathing at one point._

_He had been told that a paramedic, heading to work, had passed by right after their crash, completely by happenstance. She had pulled him from the car and resuscitated him and saved his life._

_Kurt wasn't supposed to survive the crash. He was born with the number 8. His number was still 8._

* * *

Kurt walked back and forth across his room while Blaine sat on his bed, waiting patiently for him to speak. It felt so strange for his wrist to be bare in front of another person, but it was an unexpected relief.

He wasn't sure how or where to start, but suddenly, everything came spilling out of him. Still pacing, he told Blaine about the accident, about the woman who saved him, about his dad, who had expected to lose his son so young, getting the call that he'd lived. He told Blaine about how when people have near-death experiences, their numbers change; they increase to the new age of their expected death. But Kurt's had never changed. He fought to remember to breathe through every word, to keep his voice steady. It was his first time telling anyone the whole story, and voicing his fears. He was so glad it was Blaine in front of him, though, because with Blaine around, everything would be okay.

Blaine caught Kurt mid stride and took Kurt's wrist in his hand, gently rubbing his fingers over the sensitive skin and inked digit on the underside. The sensation made Kurt want to simultaneously melt and freeze. Nobody had ever touched him there.

"What does it mean?" Blaine asked quietly.

"I was supposed to die that day. That woman wasn't supposed to be there, and I shouldn't have lived. The fact that my number never changed proves that. Can I...can I tell you something? I promise it'll answer your questions about why I can't date and why I've been so weird with you. I just need a minute to figure out how to articulate it."

Blaine nodded, tugging his hand so Kurt would sit by him on the bed. When he did, Blaine held his hand with both of his own.

Eventually, Kurt met his eyes, ready.

"My mom died in that accident. My dad, he's struggled with health problems ever since. He's had two heart attacks and a brush with cancer. All three times, his number has dropped a few years. Finn. Well, you know about him. The day before he died, he called me to say his number had plummeted overnight from 77 to 19, the age he was at that time. Those are all people I loved and who loved me.

"I'm living on borrowed time, Blaine." Kurt's emotions overcame him as he gasped out a cry. Blaine moved his hand to rest around Kurt's shoulders, the other one stroking Kurt's hair as he leaned his head on Blaine's chest to cry. "I'm living on borrowed time, and l think I'm borrowing it from the people I love. Every day I live, I take away from someone else."

"Shh," Blaine whispered to Kurt, who was now near hysterics. He maneuvered them so they were lying on the bed, Kurt's head cradled in the crook of Blaine's shoulder.

Kurt cried and cried, and every time he calmed and tried to speak again, he cried some more. Blaine eventually started humming the first song that popped into his head, and it stopped Kurt's cries long enough to give him a chance to breathe. Then he started to laugh.

"Are you really singing 'The Lion Sleeps Tonight' to make me feel better?"

Blaine joined in his laughter. "I can't remember any other songs right now."

They sang the chorus together and Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine. He sighed. "I'm sorry for getting so emotional. This was all so unexpected. I never thought I'd talk to anyone about this again."

"Have you told anyone else you feel this way?"

"My dad kind of put the pieces together and figured it out. My therapist knows a little. I've never told anyone like I'm telling you."

"That's such a heavy burden for you to carry for so long, Kurt. I'm sorry you've had to go through this. You're so strong."

"Thank you," Kurt whispered, the truth of the statement settling in his bones. He propped himself up on his forearm to look at Blaine. "Do you understand now why I can't date or ever get married?"

"I think I'm starting to see why you believe that. You think everyone who loves you gets hurt because of your number. You don't want to get close to anyone and risk going through another loss."

Kurt nodded. "Right. And with you...I know I've never said it in so many words, but in another world, you would be just the man for me. I never thought I'd feel a love so strong it almost knocks me off my feet every time I see you." He felt the air leave Blaine's lungs at the admission. "With you, I could never ever risk something happening. Not just for me, but because it's not fair to you either.

"I have to stay away. I thought we could just be friends, but even then you got hurt. That was a wake up call for me that we'd gotten too close. It hurts to have to stay away, Blaine, but I promise it doesn't hurt as badly as it could."

Blaine hadn't stopped running his finger over the inside of Kurt's wrist and it felt like the most intimate thing he had ever done with anyone. He would miss the closeness he felt with Blaine and the touches he knew he couldn't have any longer. If they were going to be just friends, he had some lines to redraw. He'd allow himself just a few more minutes of indulgence, though.

Kurt brushed a stray curl away from Blaine's eyes and searched them for any hint of what he was feeling. But Blaine just continued to radiate a steady confidence and calm.

"Are you not upset that I'm more or less breaking off the relationship we didn't really have? Because I might be a little offended if you're not," Kurt half-joked.

Blaine pushed himself up to sitting, careful to keep his injured leg away from Kurt.

"I have to show you something. But before I do, just know that even if you're right, which, for the record, I don't believe you are, you cannot be to blame for the bad things that happen to the people you love."

Blaine's words were all Kurt had ever needed to hear. He wrapped his arms around Blaine's waist again and squeezed. Then Blaine reached for the buckle on his cuff.

"Please don't," Kurt tried to stop him. "Don't feel like you have to tell me yours just because I told you mine."

Blaine looked amused. "If you recall, I was trying to tell you mine first. But now it seems even more essential." He continued unbuckling the clasp at his wrist.

Kurt hadn't ever given much thought to what Blaine's number was, but now his mind spun with the possibilities. Was it low? Extremely high? Somewhere in the middle? Why was Blaine so insistent on showing him?

A single tremble gave away that Blaine wasn't as confident as he seemed. Kurt nuzzled his cheek to encourage him.

Blaine removed the leather cuff and held his wrist out to Kurt, who held it with one hand and gasped.

"Blaine."

"I know."

They were whispering, free hands clutching each other tightly. A tear ran down Kurt's cheek.

" _Blaine_."

"I know," Blaine said again. "Could this change anything?"

"It could change _everything_."

They looked down together at Blaine's wrist. It was blank.

"I know it's really rare and there is a lot of conflicting speculation about what it could mean, but I have my own theories. I've been in a few life-threatening situations in my life and I've always come out with just minor injuries, like this leg. I believe that even if what you say about your number is true, it can't affect me. That might seem crazy and unbelievable to you, but—"

"It's not crazy. If this can happen to me...nothing is beyond the realm of possibility." Kurt dropped Blaine's arm and leaned back against the bed. "Wow. I never thought...never in my wildest dreams did I even consider this outcome. That there could be a happy ending for me."

Blaine's smile illuminated the room as he waited for Kurt to continue. Kurt knew that Blaine wanted to know the same thing he did: what comes next? How did they take this new information and make something out of it, possibly even a life together?

His mind was too overwhelmed with hope and potential and Blaine, though, to even start to wrap his head around what could happen after they leave the bedroom and re-enter the real world.

Kurt put a hand in Blaine's hair and gently ran it down his scalp to his neck. "I need some time to process all of this. It's not — it's good. It's amazing. I just need tonight to let it settle."

"I understand," said Blaine as he began to push up and off the bed until Kurt grabbed his hand.

"Together?"

Blaine's responding smile warmed Kurt to the core. He climbed back in the bed and wrapped himself around Kurt, who already looked sleepy.

"Always."

* * *

The next morning, Kurt awoke before Blaine, for once. He took the opportunity to take a hot shower and make breakfast, leaving Rachel's serving on the counter and putting Blaine's serving on a tray he took with him to the bedroom.

A good night's sleep with Blaine so close by and his steamy shower had helped Kurt sort out his thoughts, and he couldn't wait to share them with Blaine.

"Knock knock," he said quietly, opening his bedroom door.

Blaine opened his bleary eyes, and immediately perked up when he saw Kurt with the plate of food.

"For me?"

"No, it's for myself," Kurt said sarcastically, putting the tray in front of Blaine and sliding back under the covers to cuddle. "Of course it's for you."

"It's way too early for sarcasm," Blaine complained. He shoveled a forkful of omelette in his mouth. "Oh god this is phenomenal."

Kurt smiled to himself, watching Blaine and seeing him through new eyes.

"How are you feeling this morning?" Blaine asked when he'd finished his whole breakfast in three minutes flat.

"Still very overwhelmed and in disbelief. But in the best way. You?"

"Same." Blaine chewed his lip as he contemplated his next words. "And about us? If we can be together? Did you find the answer?"

Kurt grinned and took Blaine's hands. "Yes."

"Yes you did? Or..."

Kurt could feel Blaine's rapidly pounding heartbeat in his palms. He felt giddy as he responded.

"Yes is the answer."

Blaine stared in awe before pulling Kurt into a tight hug. "Are you serious? You want to be with me?"

"Of course I do. There was never really any other option."

"You don't know how happy that makes me."

"Oh, actually I do."

When Blaine released him, he pulled back to look in his wet, emotion-filled eyes.

"You're so beautiful," Kurt whispered instead of what he'd meant to say.

Blaine held onto Kurt's wrist and rubbed gently over his number, a bashful smile spreading across his face.

"I have one request, though," Kurt said nervously.

"Anything."

"Okay, your faith in me is bolstering, but I could be about to ask you to murder a family of ducks for all you know."

"Fine. Anything but that."

Kurt rolled his eyes again. "Can we take it slow? I'd like to take you out on a date."

"Yes. Done. But…"

"But what?"

Blaine leaned in so his face was inches from Kurt's. "Does kissing count as taking it slow?"

Kurt hummed, cognitive abilities leaving him. "I'm finding that I don't really care."

Their lips met, the sensation drowning them in lust and affection, and they only surfaced an hour later.

"If that's taking it slow, can we take it slow forever?" Kurt asked, already missing the taste of Blaine's mouth.

"Just wait until you find out about blowjobs," Blaine quipped, earning a smack from Kurt. "I know what you mean, though."

Kurt sighed and snuggled in closer.

"Thank you."

"For what?" Blaine asked.

"For calling me out and making me face my demons so I could finally see what's on the other side."

"Then I promise to always call you out if I'm what's on the other side."

Kurt placed a kiss on Blaine's jaw. "You always will be."


	9. Epilogue

It was Blaine's suggestion to keep their relationship quiet for a few weeks, to hold the thrill and the joy as close to their hearts as possible and avoid the probing questions they knew would come, especially from their friends.

Those three weeks were some of the most cherished of Kurt's life. He did all the things he thought he would never have a chance to do. He took Blaine to dinner and out for ice cream, he held his hand walking down the sidewalk and kissed his cheek before ducking into their favorite bookstore. He daydreamed about a future, about a _husband_. He made out on the couch with Blaine and they moved against each other until they met their releases, and those moments actually held promises.

The time came, though, where Blaine and Kurt couldn't keep things to themselves anymore, and they were excited to share their news with their loved ones.

But telling their friends ended up being as anticlimactic as possible.

"Kurt and I are together," Blaine announced proudly to Kat, Wes, Rachel, and David one morning over brunch.

Only Wes looked up from his food, and said, "clearly," then returned his attention to his plate.

"No, like, _dating_ together," Blaine clarified, still smiling widely.

This time, Rachel looked up. "Right."

Blaine looked at Kurt for help.

"Just to clarify," Kurt spoke up, "we were not previously dating. This is a new development."

"Sure it is," David responded placatingly.

"Be happy for us, damn it!" Kurt exclaimed, throwing up his hands.

"We're thrilled for the two of you. We have been for months."

"We have not been dating for months," Blaine reiterated.

All four of their friends looked up from their meals and said, "okay."

* * *

Thankfully, breaking the news to their families was a different experience. Carole cried and even Burt choked up. Cooper congratulated them on finally getting their heads out of their asses, and Mr. and Mrs. Anderson insisted they make another trip home to Ohio so they could meet Kurt.

Blaine knew how much these moments meant to Kurt, so he made it as special as possible, letting him revel in the attention. Everyone could see just how happy Kurt was, but nobody other than Burt truly knew the struggles he had overcome to be with Blaine.

That afternoon, as Blaine clicked the status button to confirm his relationship to 'In a relationship with Kurt Hummel' for all of Facebook to see, Kurt walked up and hugged him from behind.

"Come with me."

Blaine stood and turned to face Kurt. "Where are we going?"

"To celebrate. You'll see."

Smiling widely, Blaine followed Kurt as he grabbed his keys and jacket and laced up his boots. They walked to where Kurt's car was parked, got in, and started driving. They drove out of the city, past the suburbs, and just when the scenery turned more rural than Blaine had thought possible, Kurt pulled into what could only be described as a large field.

"Where have you taken me?" Blaine asked, looking around and trying to figure out why they'd drive so far for an empty field. "Is this where you—"

"No. No more crime podcasts for you, Mr. Anderson. Come with me." Kurt took his hand and pulled him through the trees to another clearing where Blaine finally understood.

"A hot air balloon?! How did you know I've always wanted to ride in one? Wait, we are going for a ride, aren't we?"

Kurt took in the incredulous excitement on his boyfriend's face and couldn't help giggling and kissing his nose.

"Of course we're going up in it."

"Hello boys. Kurt? I'm Joe, we spoke on the phone. Got your things? I'll get her fired up."

It was then that Blaine realized Kurt was holding the picnic basket they frequently used for lunch in the park.

Blaine shook with anticipation until the moment they lifted off, then he clung to the side of the basket, watching in awe as the town below them shrank. Kurt wanted to take in the view of the sun setting over the fields, but his eyes couldn't leave Blaine, who seemed more perfect than ever.

Blaine caught him looking and actually blushed.

"Oops. I know I'm like an excited little puppy right now. But this is a dream come true."

Kurt's arm snaked around Blaine's waist. "It sure is."

"You keep surprising me with all these insanely romantic dates. I don't know if I can ever reciprocate."

"Years and years of ideas that I thought I'd never get to use," Kurt said with a shrug. "And you don't need to reciprocate."

"Why? Because I've already given you the best gift of all?" Blaine teased.

Kurt gave him a look. "I would never say anything so cliché."

"Come on, admit it."

The look persisted.

"You know you want to."

Kurt gave in, speaking to the air in front of them without emotion, save for the twitch in the corner of his mouth that gave him away. "Fine. It's because you've already given me the best gift of all."

Blaine leaned in closer to Kurt and kissed him passionately before remembering that Joe was in the balloon with them. Joe just winked and offered them glasses of wine from their picnic basket. They gladly accepted and sipped the Chardonnay while cuddling each other and soaking in the sights.

"Right there," Blaine said suddenly, pointing to...nothing.

"What?"

"See that right there?" He continued pointing at a spot below them where there was nothing.

"That empty field?"

"Yes, that one."

"What about it?"

"That's where we will build a home together one day."

Kurt gasped slightly. "With a wraparound porch and a peach tree?"

Blaine nodded. "And a swimming pool and a hammock."

"You want that? With me?" Kurt couldn't fight off the tears springing to his eyes, and it appeared Blaine couldn't either.

"I want it all with you."

* * *

Toes curling into the sheets. Fingers grasping at anything and everything. Back arching. Head thrown back.

A hot, heavy body between his legs. Warm honey eyes glancing up. Wet heat surrounding him.

Searching, searching, then finding a beautiful release. Floating.

A gentle dip in the mattress. A soft chuckle. A kiss to bring him back.

"Where did you go?" Blaine nudged Kurt's pec with his nose.

Kurt sighed dreamily. "Heaven, I think."

Blaine laughed, but still wore a self-satisfied smile.

"Yeah, yeah, you did that. You were right about blow jobs, apparently."

"I said that as a joke. I thought you weren't a virgin?"

"I'm not, but it might as well be when it comes to you. Everything feels new."

Blaine kissed him hard on the mouth. "How badly do you think we failed at taking it slow?"

"Miserably. And I couldn't be happier about it."

"I'm glad too. You're everything I've always hoped for."

Color flooded Kurt's face at the compliment. He should have been used to them by that point, but Blaine always managed to set his butterflies aflutter.

Blaine, who had been inspecting Kurt's number, turned his arm so the number showed sideways. He hadn't been able to take his hands off of it since the night it was revealed, and Kurt found he didn't mind one bit.

"You know, if you look at it like this, it's not an eight anymore."

Kurt grinned. "You don't know how many nights I spent in my room trying to convince my teenage self that it was an infinity symbol instead of an eight."

Blaine bit his lip and Kurt could tell he was stopping himself from saying something.

"I can tell you have something ridiculously cheesy to say. Spit it out."

"I was trying to spare you, but if you insist...I was going to say that we may not be infinite, but our love is."

"Ew. You're the worst." Kurt threw his head back in disgust, but couldn't wipe the smile off his face.

"Okay, but you actually kind of love it."

"I actually kind of love you." For some reason, they'd been reserving those words despite showing their love in a million little ways. It felt amazing to say it aloud.

"I love you too."

**Six years later**

"Where the hell are we?" Kurt demanded to know. His husband had driven him to the middle of nowhere and was holding the passenger door open for Kurt to step out of the car.

"You don't recognize it?" Blaine gestured to the field around them.

"I've been here before?" Kurt tried to sound annoyed, but he always loved Blaine's surprises, and could see how jittery he was with anticipation, so the question ended up sounding merely curious.

"Not exactly. Come on."

Blaine led Kurt a little further through the grass and wildflowers to where a brown woven box sat.

"Go ahead," Blaine urged. "Open it."

Kurt approached the box and picked a small bouquet off the top, clutching the wildflowers — clearly picked from the field where he stood — to his chest. He opened the box slowly, pulse racing at the excitement and mystery of it all.

Inside he found a large piece of paper rolled up. He removed it and laid it out on the grass, carefully unrolling it to reveal a blueprint.

"Blaine," he breathed as he processed what he was seeing.

A gorgeous, spacious floor plan and a detailed outline of the outdoor space, including details he thought Blaine would never have remembered from a fleeting conversation six years prior.

"Is this…" Kurt couldn't finish his question. Emotion and disbelief overwhelmed him.

"This is the same field we saw from the balloon that day. I remember it was across from the farmhouse with the purple barn." He knelt next to Kurt and with a hand rubbing his back, touched the sketch.

"David designed it for us. Here's your wraparound porch, our home offices, and this is where the peach tree goes. The hammock will hang between those two trees there." He pointed to their left. "And of course the pool."

Kurt didn't try to stop the tears from falling. He looked at Blaine who took his hands and stood.

"We've been doing our thing in the city for five years, and it feels like it's time. I'll stay as long as you want to, but say the word and this is all ours."

"Yes," Kurt blurted out without having to think. "Yes, I want it."

Blaine scooped him up in a hug and twirled him around before planting a messy kiss on his mouth. Then he lifted Kurt's uncuffed wrist to his lips and kissed there too.

Kurt held Blaine's wrist in his left hand and with his right, traced an infinity symbol where his number should be, his silent reminder of his affection for his husband.

"I love you," Kurt whispered despite the fact that only the open air could hear them.

"I love you too."

"Times infinity?"

"Yeah," Blaine laughed as he squeezed Kurt's hand. "Times infinity."


End file.
